July 2001 Meeting With The Past President Minutes

Our former Secretary, Ken Rice, made whoopee with our former President, Mike Beck, back in 2001. These are Ken's quasi-coherent remembrances of that visit, which he penned shortly afterwards.

As none of you may have noticed, I wasn't at the July meeting. Instead, I made a pilgrimage to Lakewood, Colorado to visit with the Past President, El Presidente. El is doing quite well in his new role as stay-at-home mom. (The breast-feeding thing is a little weird though. I guess that vacuum pump augmentation really works.)

We decided to go to the quaint little townlet of Golden to try out one of their famous malted beverages, and I ain't talkin Coors. At some point during our mass beverage consumption, it dawned on us that it was Monday. And 7:00 PM. Time for the meeting to commence.

7:00 El calls the meeting to order. The first item on the agenda was getting another pitcher of beer. The Secretary was tasked with this and accomplished it in a stellar manner.

7:05 El calls for new members to introduce themselves. Some petite chick El has been cycling with a lot lately was introduced as Fallon Beck. Shes very shy, as El had to speak for her. She also seemed to have trouble focusing on the meeting. The Secretary was starting to have trouble focusing also, attributable to excessive liquid in the malted beverage containers.

7:09 The Secretary motions for a vote on another pitcher of beer. The vote carries unanimously and Mrs. El decides its safer if she gets it. El and the Secretary concur.

7:12 El asks if theres any new business to discuss. A frenzied discussion ensues concerning who will get the remainder of the beer in the current pitcher. Mrs. El breaks the stalemate by returning to the table with a replacement.

7:16 The Seckertree doesn't want to take notes anymore. Somebody has to I guess. The chicks around here are gettin pretty cute. I wonder where they were earlier? HEY, YOU COME HERE OFTEN? CAN YOU TAKE DICTATION? What? It doesn't mean that? Huh,...oh yeah. The meeting. Where were we? Okay, I remember. El calls for a Treasurers report. The Seckerary checks and finds he has $20. A motion is made to invest the funds in a bladder growth fund. A pisher of beer mashikly appears.

7:22 A general consenuh, consensoo, uh, agreement is consensicated on to adjournicate. Mrs. El decides that WE AINT MEN ENOUGH TO DRIVE!! Oh yeah? Well, all Elron and the Seshetwee got to say is Thhhht. Did you hear that? Thhhht. Boy, that sounded funny!! Thhhht.

7:26 Its time for Fallon to start walkin on her own. The Secktie is takin a ride in the stroller. Elmo says the loud popping noise is normal when a macho, studley dude rides in the stroller. YEAH! I hope Mrs. Elmo didnt hear that. Shell make me walk to the car. WHEEE!

8:27 (AM) The Secretaries head hurts. El was feeding the child again. Wierd.

by Ken Rice